drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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