Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he fucked my hip out of place.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize