Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Randomize