I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City