he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.