OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT