their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
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Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.