we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I bet he comes in French.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
40s are totally the cure
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...