So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate