I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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