You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
