i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize