Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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