I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
