so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize