We're facebook friends in real life
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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