He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
