Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize