We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize