I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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