i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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