plz talk dirty to me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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