we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize