It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize