If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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