i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes