Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.