You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.