yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed