she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.