How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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