why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
