Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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