Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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