whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize