she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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