What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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