I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize