I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize