Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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