Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
