you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize