I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
