make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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