why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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