Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize