is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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