Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize