Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.