He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...