remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
