It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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