You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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