He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down