She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.