My pussy is not your playground.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize