Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
