This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
ok first of all what the fuck
I know her cup size but not her name....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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