I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
