Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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(313): Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate http://tfl.nu/xmwg

Replies (15) Good night (1360) Bad night (4010)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Writing my paper on freud at bar

(917): View more from New York City

??

(203): View more from Connecticut

Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

(917): View more from New York City

Smooth

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(203): Writing my paper on freud at bar (917): ?? (203): Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children (917): Smooth http://tfl.nu/hb6n

Replies (8) Good night (1637) Bad night (697)
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(912): View more from Georgia

He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

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(912): He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter. http://tfl.nu/k17d

Replies (14) Good night (630) Bad night (2028)
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(818): View more from California

I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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(818): I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras http://tfl.nu/7rs3

Replies (16) Good night (5624) Bad night (644)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie

(420): View more from

your the best winggirl ever

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(610): Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie (420): your the best winggirl ever http://tfl.nu/bhih

Replies (34) Good night (13174) Bad night (1032)
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(+61): View more from Australia

we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

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(+61): we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry. http://tfl.nu/qm28

Replies (9) Good night (4733) Bad night (1276)
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(513): View more from Ohio

The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

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(513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv

Replies (2) Good night (3624) Bad night (798)
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(425): View more from Washington

well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

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(425): well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now.. http://tfl.nu/77ss

Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (1812)
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(284): View more from British V.I.-Carib

they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.

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(284): they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration. http://tfl.nu/df1l

Replies (4) Good night (1467) Bad night (710)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway

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(402): God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway http://tfl.nu/7nqq

Replies (12) Good night (606) Bad night (960)
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(817): View more from Texas

I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.

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(817): I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening. http://tfl.nu/xhys

Replies (6) Good night (1464) Bad night (495)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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(612): Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/wabc

Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (1352)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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(775): He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door http://tfl.nu/vv4w

Replies (13) Good night (547) Bad night (1834)
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(+61): View more from Australia

First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.

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(+61): First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost. http://tfl.nu/c1qe

Replies (5) Good night (436) Bad night (748)
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(786): View more from Florida

I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night

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(786): I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night http://tfl.nu/4u0f

Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (549)

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