Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6
  Replies (33) Good night (3207) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants. http://tfl.nu/uvta
  Replies (40) Good night (3329) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (6108) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt
  Replies (14) Good night (5306) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (33198) Bad night (2049)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (2750)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw
  Replies (10) Good night (3702) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  ttyl tear gas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): ttyl tear gas http://tfl.nu/bmdg
  Replies (13) Good night (1222) Bad night (2605)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters http://tfl.nu/lstj
  Replies (4) Good night (2887) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You fucker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age. (1-603): You fucker. http://tfl.nu/7pi3
  Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fuhga

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive. (905): Fuhga (250): Thank you. http://tfl.nu/3pok
  Replies (3) Good night (1645) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me http://tfl.nu/tnly
  Replies (7) Good night (820) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/4gsa
  Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again. http://tfl.nu/3xcj
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (415)

Randomize