You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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